Thursday, September 22, 2005

If Jidoshi won't watch it, then you sure as hell shouldn't, either!

I won't watch that new movie I saw on the commercial right now that stars that fucker Benjamin Bratt. He's that fucker that played a pig on LA Law, or CSI, or NYPD Blue. Im not sure cuz Jidoshi thinks all those Pig shows and movies are the same. You know, with all the, "We know you did it," and the "We're gonna get this punk," and, "We gotta protect the streets for our children," bullshit. I think he comes out in the one that has that old fat bald-headed cop that likes to booze it up and beat confessions outta people. Well, whatever, I know he's the one that they always talk about as being a great HISPANIC actor. He's a real HISPANIC role model. He's also the HISPANIC that dated that horse-toothed jackass Julia Roberts. Thats grounds for Jidoshi to lay a can a whupass all over his HISPANIC ass!! In the commercial he's running around like a soldier or something, and this guy asks him something. So he answer's the guy, "You got a NUNYA in your future." And the guys all like, "What the fuck is a NUNYA?" Then Benjamin Bratt gets on this high horse from hell, so full of pride he's almost gonna explode and says, "NUNYA damn business." I mean, I was in shock?? Thats it? NUNYA damn business? I mean, is that supposed to be cool, or?? or??? I dont know. But I know its stupider than hell. Hewins Jidoshi's Oscar for stupidest one-liner ever. On behalf of the world according to Jidsohi we are sending him one big stinking pile of human feces. Enjoy, you great HISPANIC actor. Oh, and bye the way, I dont remeber the name of that movie. That stupid ass preview made me flip the channel. Jidoshi also wont see "I Heart Huckabees." I think it stars Jude Law, or Dennis Hopper, maybe even Kevin Bacon, since hes soo good at brownosing his way into any 2 bit movie. I wont see it or even care what its about because of the title. I get it. You want to use the symbol of the heart in your movie. Like its cute to say I Heart Huckabees. Like Ill see it cuz you use the heart symbol in your title. Well it didnt work. I dont give a shit that you have a heart in your title and I dont give a rats behind what ever the fuck a Huckabee is either. Ill see your movie about as much as Ill buy an album titled the Artist formally known as Prince.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Once again, The World according to Jidoshi has influenced the World.

Dear reaters and staff of de Worl accordeen to Jeedoshee. We wan to offer our support in dees Worl crisees. We now take de trucks to Nuevo Orleens. To give de watter and de applesauce to de homeless peoples who leeving in de streets. We hopes you no more are mad at Mexico! We are jor friends. We are jor amigos.
De Mexicanos in de Consulate embassy place inside de America contry.

In direct response to the most recent criticism from the World's greatest online blog, Mexico has decided to offer assistance to the U.S. As far as the writers from the World according to Jidoshi are concerned, Mexico is now removed from the chopping block. But as for you France, well, its like this, France, you can still kiss our asses!!
Thank You to Mexico.

The following is an excerpt from

Mexico has offered an aid package to the United States that includes military equipment and medicine to help victims of Hurricane Katrina. The Mexican Navy has also expressed its willingness to send two ships, 15 amphibious vehicles and two helicopters to help rescue victims. With Friday's offer, Mexico joined almost sixty other nations who have offered assistance to the US in the wake of Katrina. The Mexican government believes that thousands of Mexicans are among those affected.

Monday, September 05, 2005

As usual, France and Mexico are nowhere to be found.

Well, hey France. How ya' doin? Yeah, well he had this level 5 Hurricane hit Louisiana recently. It killed a bunch of people who had french blood in them. It did a real number on New Orleans too. It really tore up the housing and then it followed up with one hell of a flood. A real tragedy. Say, isn't New Orleans french too?? Wow, you assholes haven't even asked to see how we're doing. I always knew you french people were scum, but you take Assholism to a whole new level. Remember when we saved your asses in the two world wars?? It would have been nice to see you at least lift your head away from your croissant to at least look our way. Its bad enough that germany and Russia dont do shit. Russia doesn't got anything to offer because all it's money is hidden in Vladimir Putin's secret KGB torture chambers, and Germany, well, we beat their asses in both world wars, so what do you expect? But you France, you owe us bigtime. The good ol' USA is the only reason you worthless frog bastards aren't eating sauerkraut and listening to that damn Oompah Oompah music. Not that your french shit crap music is any better. The world's best friend. When Sri Lanka got hit, who sent millions?? We sent food, aid, money, doctors, you name it. You France, didn't do shit,like now. Sitting on your asses drinking lattes and smoking those nasty smelly cigarretes you guys make. But thats okay. You know why France? Cuz who needs your fucking help anyways? We'll survive this hurricane on our own. We don't need a damn thing from you frog-eatin chickenshits. So drink your wine, eat your cheese, and go fuck yourselves. Now on to you Mexico. Where have you been hiding? Your not sitting this one out! You also owe us bigtime. What, you don't remember your buddy Uncle Sam? Huh? You only seem to remeber us when it's handout time,huh?! Oh hey Mr. Moneybags!! Nice to see you again, ol pal of mine. Yeah we'll take your Nafta, thank you. Say, your gonna loan us millions to repair roads and develop our country, thanks buddy, come on down!! Whats that, the world trade center blew up? I'm a little busy right now, sorry. Say what? A flood, thousands are homeless, uuuhh,.. , can you leave me a message and we'll get back to you. You can leave your donations outside the door. Same old story, different day. We'll keep taking care of your illegals you send us, give them jobs, pay their social security checks, insure them, give them medicaid, etc. and we'll handle this Hurricane/flood situation all on our own. Same shit, different day. Next time youneed a handout, we'll be there. Next time aworld crisis happens, we'll be there. Next time the frogs get their mickey-mouse hating asses whipped, we'll be there. So thanks to all our neighbors. THANKS FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, which is what you guys do best.