Monday, August 29, 2005

Thanks to me!! Booya!!


HA HA Bitches!! Im still the baddest mofo this side of the planet. I tell you what, I just keep taking it up a level over and over again. I mean.... DAMN!! Check out this fly certificate man! I bet none of ya'll never seen nuthin like this. Thats cuz you all dont deserve no thanks, and you aint never gonna get no thanks. Me? Shit, Im gonna go straight to the top. Naw' mean. You? I doubt a little worthless piece of craplike you was even in the same country while I was earning my Thanks. See, I know how to handle my biznack. A chump like you aint worth the change I give that homeless mother fucker thats always passed out under the bridge. I fuckin feed your ass stale bread and birdseed. Ya! Thats right, sing little birdy! Sing for your supper! Know what else. My Thanks has these dope fly stickers that say "Hooray and Great work." This clown at work had this stupid sticker on his Thanks that had a shooting star picture and said "reach for the Stars. I said, "Man, you aint reaching for no stars. I never heard of no midget in space. The closest thing your getting to reaching the stars is that Roller Coaster ride at the amusement park. But then again, they won't let you on the ride because they dhave a height requirement." So the little brown-noser tells me, dont be making fun of his height disadvantage. That its not cool to make fun of the vertically challenged. I looked at him and said, "Stand up when you talk to me." Then I realized he was already standing. Then I said "Show me your ID. You have to be an adult to hang out here. I'll bet your momma is scared sick looking for your little ass."Then I saw the tears well up in the eyes of the little cabbage patch looking guy and I said, "Hey, your t hanks is allright. NOT AS GOOD AS MINE! but its allright." I also got two free passes to dress however the fuck I want. You see those 2 passes on my Thanks. Yeah! I dont gots to wear no fuckin tie. I can dress like Frankenstein if I want to. If someone says, "whats up?" Ill take my free casual day sticker pass and put it right on their damn forehead. Im gonna go down to the costume shop and get me a Pink Womens dress outfit with a bonnet and cover it in fake blood. Ill look just like Jackie O when she was ridin next to JFK. Booya! In your face disgrace!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Mr. President, with all due respect, allow me.... (Cindy Sheehan's long overdue reality check.)


Mr. President, you are a busiest President of all time. Your busy right now dealing with inflation, a war on 2 fronts, illegal immigration, and that crazy Kim Jung Il who wants to nuke our ass, to name a few. Now you got this crazy idiot Cindy Sheehan trying to piss all over your private ranch out there in Crawford. You made the mistake of meeting that one lady who's son died in the war. You went out of your way tomeet her and all she did was dog you and then went to the media behind your back and bad mouthed you. Now every Tom Dick, and Harry is lining up to have a personal meet with you. So with all due respect Mr. President, allow me. You have more important things to deal with like an entire country whos in the leadership position of all global affairs. Thank you, sir.

Now Cindy, listen you stupid bitch!! The President is never gonna meet you!! You know why?! Cuz you are a Whack Job! Thats right! You are as insane as Charlie Manson. Thats right,lookit up in a dictionary, under Krazy with a capital K. Theres no explanation. Just a big picture of your stupid white ass. What? What? You dont understand why your son died. Well get a nice big pen and a piece ofpaper. Then write this down and go to a printshop and have it framed. I'm gonna say this real slow so you catch every word, "Because...... your...... son....... was....... in...... THE...... ARMY!!!!" Thats right Sherlock! In the army they got these things called guns. In the army they teach you things like warfare and hand to hand combat. Oh, I know you've seen these stupid commercials about an Army of One, and you can learn how to be a Cook, a water purifier, or a diesel mechanic and all this other stuff. But in the Army they also teach you how to be A SOLDIER! Did you ever think of that Cindy? Here's another thing you probably didn't think of! You dont have to join the Army! Thats right. I'll bet no one ever told you that either. But it's true. It's a volunteer Army now. The draft ended after Vietnam. You see this guy called a recruiter waits for you to come see him. Then he gives you a tour and you take some tests. Then, if you qualify, they take you to this place where you take an oath and swear to defend your country with honor, but most importantly, you take an oath to serve the President of the United States and do what he says is in the best interest of the United States of America. The President decides what is in the best interest of the people because the Majority of the people of The United States elected him. Right now the President says this thing called terrorism is bad. Thats why we went to a place called Afghanistan. Because these guys called terrorists like to hang out there when they are not in our country blowing up buildings like the World Trade Center and killing thousands of people. Is this kind of making sense, Cindy? Theres this other thing called a Dictatorship that the President says is a bad thing and we should fight to stop. Like in Iraq, there was this guy called Saddam Hussein. Now Saddam and his two evil sons liked doing things like murder, rape, torture, chemical experiments, and genocide on their own people. The President also thinks it's better to take the war to the bad guys, instead of letting them come over here and kill us in our own back yard. The men and women who go overseas to fight these dictators and terrorists are called good guys and heroes. Thats what your son was, a hero. But your too sick and twisted to ever understand that. Oh yeah, and stop bringing up that crap about this war is only for oil. Have your gas prices gone down in the last three years? So what does that tell you?


Sunday, August 07, 2005

Rafael Palmeiro Lying Asshole Baseball Player Cheater!


I know you've seen my other rants on Mark Mcgwired and Sammy Sosan of a bitch. But this A-hole #1 Rafael Palmeiro somehow slipped through. During the congressional hearings you had a-hole #2 Mark Mcgwired talking some crap about only there to talk about the future, not the past, and that other imported foreigner all-american baseball player Sammy Sosan of a bitch suddenly forgetting that he used to be able to speak the english language, but this guy Rafael Santiago was the one who showed up to congress wearing his Warbonnet. He went through Congress with his fists flying. He was adamantly denying ever doing steroids with his other cuban imported partner Jose Canseco. He was adding emphasis by by pointing at the commitee members at the same time he said "he never did roids, period!" A recent drug test showed he was lying through his banana boat ridng teeth. Anybody that lies to our U.S. congress should be sent in a boat back to Cuba and let Castro hookup about 20,000 volts to his testicles. The stupidest thing is that he said it happened unintentionally. You did it unintentionall Raffy? Oh, well thats allright then. I mean if you did the steroids INTENTIONALLY, that would be bad, but UNINTENTIONALLY, thats a completely different matter. You know whaty, It probably wasn't you who took the steroids anyways. Probably, the steroids came from that big syringe sticking in your ass. You know, that same syringe you have sticking in your ass might have been full of that banned illegal performance enhancement drugs, you think? Your just lucky this is the 1st time you got caught. Next time you feel like waving that finger of yours and bringing up how younever used drugs, take it and stick it up your ass, with all those other illegal things you got stuck up there, you dirty stinking rat-liar. Posted by Picasa
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