Monday, June 20, 2005

How to make $500,00 Easy.


It's real simple fellas. 1. You get arrested 3 times for shoplifting. (and those are the three times she was caught.) 2. You do a shitload of cocaine so your eyes look like their gonna pop out. 3. You go all christian and no sex before marriage. 4. On the eve of your wedding you cut your hair and take a greyhound bus after calling 911 and saying you were captured by a mexican and a white chick that are raping you. 4. Make sure your from a wimp town like Duluth, Ga where you can commit all the crimes you want and not a damn thing will happen to you. 5. Sit around and wait for another bitch like Katie Couric to come and interview you, then sign a bookmaking deal with a no good muckraking company called Schuster & Schuster. 6. Wait for Lifetime movie channel to make your movie of the week. There you have it, $500,000 dollars for about a month and a half of work. Nice!!! The good old-fashioned way. I won't buy your book. Only if it is titled, "The most selfish, greedy, evil, worthless slut-bitch in America!" Marge Schott of the Cincinnatti Reds, eat your heart out! You may parade around your house with the vintage Nazi-Swaztika armband, and what has that comment you told during an interview? That "Hitler wasn't all bad, he just got a little carried away." You call the systematic genocide of 6 million jews a little carried away? You also called a certain minority player your, "Million Dollar N%$#@&." Oh well, I thought you were rough, but Marge, you ain't got nuthin on Jennifer. She's the real deal. Bitch-Psycho number one.

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