Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Liam Neeson is Hollywood's best dying actor.

Hands down, Liam Neeson gets the vote for the best actor who plays the roles of characters that end up dead or beaten the shit out of. Repeatedly, without falter Liam continues to take on the toughest dead roles and make them look easy, and he should. He comes from a long movie career of dead lead roles spanning 25 years. Starting back with his first role in 1981 when Director John Boorman recognized Liam Neeson's talent for getting killed and cast him as the character of Sir Gawain, in the fanatasy spectacular "Excalibur." The first time future Oscar winner, took the role and delivered a powerful performance as he took a good old fashioned ghetto beating from Lancelot, and then topped it buy getting hacked to death by Evil Mordred's army. He since has continued to deliver his powerful death scenes with memorable greats such as "Michael Collins," where he played the assasinated IRA leader with such zeal. The soft spoken Jedi Knight Qui Gon Jinn, who took Darth Maul's double lightsaber right through his heart. Liam would still go on to play Godfrey of Ibelin, the father of Orlando Bloom in "Kingdom of Heaven," who has to slowly die after he was shot full of arrows. He now is starring as Henri Ducard, in this summer blockbuster, "Batman Begins." You better believe he gets his ass killed by the superhero. He's the real star of the movie, the way he takes a Superhero's beating and then bites it in the end from the inside of a falling flying subway car. But I feel his career is truly defined in his role as the Priest Vallon, in "Streets of New York." Liam portrayed a beautiful dying scene in the snow after he has had his ass shanked a couple of times by the Butcher Bill. The ass whupping the priest got was soo bad that they actually celebrated it for the next 20 years. If Liam is not dying in a movie he's getting burned half to death like in "Darkman," or getting his ass kicked and thrown in jail like in "Les Miserables" and "Rob Roy." Yessir! Liam Neeson sets the standard for dying and suffering in Movieland. Whatever project Liam has his hands into now, you better believe he plans on ending up dead on his ass before the movie ends. That's why he's the best!!

Friday, June 24, 2005

Aaaahh Yeahh! Pimpin in space baby!

I gonna git me this whack space bed dawg!! It' da one dem Asstronauts use in space, yeeahh! I'm takin the bitches on one freak fly ride. Allriight! Me and Captain Spaceman got all them ho's lined up. From the Coast to Coast all the way down to the dirty dirty. Theres gonna be a party in my bed every night Sucka, and you ain't invited cuz you ain't down with my posse, yeeahh. We takin this shit straight to the moon. Shit I can see it now, partying on dat Jupiter place. Bet they got some dope ass shit out there. Better not be no damn PoPos runnin round tryin to put me in one a them Black Holes and shit. Oh Yeeahh. They gonna call me Apollo after dat space mission thang on that Discovery Channel. Hey! Whatchu mean they ain't got no gravity in space?! Now you beefin. Don't be playin wit me dawg. I know they got grabity in space, cuz why else don't stars be falling on top of us. Word.

Monday, June 20, 2005

I'll pass on this one. I do not mock the mentally challenged, or handicapped, retards, or whatever the heck they call them these days..

I could tell you all you wanna know about this modern day lunatic. But Im sure you already know. Im sure you know hes America's #1 Neo Nazi. I could talk about how he states that there are no honest Republicans. That all they want to do is steal your money. Aren't those the same things Hitler said about the Jews? I'll just skip this one because this meathead is too easy for me to comment on. Some people are so good at making themselves look like idiots, that for someone to make a comment is just stating the obvious. It's like saying the sun shines during the day, or the stars shine at night, or that Howard Dean is a fat cynical bastard that tries to portray himself as a hard worker for the common man, even though he comes from Park Place, the richest of all neighborhoods in upper New York. No, if you don't mind, jidoshi is just gonna skip this asshole and move on to something important.

How to make $500,00 Easy.

It's real simple fellas. 1. You get arrested 3 times for shoplifting. (and those are the three times she was caught.) 2. You do a shitload of cocaine so your eyes look like their gonna pop out. 3. You go all christian and no sex before marriage. 4. On the eve of your wedding you cut your hair and take a greyhound bus after calling 911 and saying you were captured by a mexican and a white chick that are raping you. 4. Make sure your from a wimp town like Duluth, Ga where you can commit all the crimes you want and not a damn thing will happen to you. 5. Sit around and wait for another bitch like Katie Couric to come and interview you, then sign a bookmaking deal with a no good muckraking company called Schuster & Schuster. 6. Wait for Lifetime movie channel to make your movie of the week. There you have it, $500,000 dollars for about a month and a half of work. Nice!!! The good old-fashioned way. I won't buy your book. Only if it is titled, "The most selfish, greedy, evil, worthless slut-bitch in America!" Marge Schott of the Cincinnatti Reds, eat your heart out! You may parade around your house with the vintage Nazi-Swaztika armband, and what has that comment you told during an interview? That "Hitler wasn't all bad, he just got a little carried away." You call the systematic genocide of 6 million jews a little carried away? You also called a certain minority player your, "Million Dollar N%$#@&." Oh well, I thought you were rough, but Marge, you ain't got nuthin on Jennifer. She's the real deal. Bitch-Psycho number one.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

I told you Wacko Jacko was not guilty. You don't doubt me!

Thats right, you punk!! I told you this dude was innocent. If I told you once I told you twice, i told you a hundred times he would not be found guilty. I told you on this website in at least 10 different articles. I said it on my very first blog, I told you on my very last blog right before this one. Michael Jackson will be found NOT GUILTY! Im never wrong. We shouldn't waste time charging the taxpayers for trials when you can just ask me if someone is guilty or not. Im psychic and I would charge the taxpayers half price. As you can see in the picture, Michael tried to shake my hand and I said, "I ain't touching your hand with that skin bleach crap on it." Oh, are you one of those people who thinks he has a skin disease? In that case his skin disease is called "Colorplace Wall Interior Latex Semi-Gloss Off-White 5411." Right now you can by yourself some Michael Jackson skin disease at Hanley Paints with a 15 year warranty. I've always known Michael was weird ever since I got the Androgynous Michael Jackson doll for Christmas. The one where he had the flat ass and no penis. That doll told me all I need to know. Wait, I take it back. It was not a doll. Don't you dare say I play with dolls! I know exactly where your going with this so Im stopping you right here. My G.I Joes and Star Wars figures are NOT DOLLS! They are action figures. Girls played with dolls. I played with action figures! I collect ACTION FIGURES! Get it. Good. One look at my Michael Jackson Action Figure and I knew theres no way in hell he could molest anyone, male, female, girl, boy, monkey, etc. Maybe he gave the kid some Jesus Juice, but big deal. In our neighborhood, for our birthdays my Dad would always hire The Clown Keggers. They were a bunch of alcoholic clowns with a keg in their van. By the third set they were falling all over themselves. When they were too drunk to tie up the ballons they'd say, "Screw It." Then they'd line us all up behind the van and fill us up from the beer tap one at a time. I remember Clown Sluggo would tell us. "Drink up kids, lifes a bitch and then you die!" They keep talking about how Micahel gave the kid Jesus Juice and he was a cancer survivor. Like having Cancer matters when your giving a kid alcohol. If I had Cancer Id say forget the Jesus Juice, give me the Jack Daniel's Juice . In fact, put it in an IV and plug him up. I've got to give District Attorney Tom Sneedon the bonehead of the year award. This is the same DA that tried to get Michael on molestation charges in California 10 years ago. What a fool! He didn't realize the Mother of the boys had used her kids in two previous child molestation charges. One against her husband. The other against two security gaurds at the mall where she and her kids were caught shoplifting. He didn't know that this woman was lying on her welfare claims. When she was on the stand, she was the one pleading the fifth amendment, not Michael. Even the Social Services agent assigned to the woamns case said the stupid broad told her she took her kids to acting classes to learn how to look sad and frightened. No Tom Sneedon, you dropped the ball. You had no case. You were out for revenge. You wasted the taxpayers money. You lost because you did sloppy work. You don't get my vote of approval. I don't approve of your sloppy work. Now Michael Jackson can relax, reflect, get a new nose and paint job at Earl Scheibs. That's a good thing, cuz this guy could not handle life in the penitentiary. I should know, I spent soo much time in the pen I can tell you stories that will make your skin crawl. I'm gonna tell you all about my time spent in the can in my next segment. Back when they used to call me "Hard Time Hagan."

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

No Virginia. There is No Santa Claus.

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of "The World according to Jidoshi."

Dear Editor-

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The World according to Jidoshi, then it's so." Please tell me the truth, Is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O'Hanlon.

Virginia, your little friends are right. It is better to be skeptical in this skeptical age. No Virginia, there is no Santa Claus. He exists about as much as love and generosity, and devotion exist. Life is dreary. You might as well believe in faeries. You might get your papa to hire men to watch all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus coming down, but they will catch nothing. Nobody has ever seen Santa Claus. So what does that prove? The only real things in the world are what men and children can see. Did you ever see faeries dancing on the lawn? of course not, thats proof that they are not there. Only money, power, and investments can allow you to see the glory and beauty beyond. Is Santa Real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing more unreal and unabiding. He does not live. Not now, nor a thousand years ago. He will however, continue to make unglad the hearts of children.

Merry Christmas.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Duluth, Ga. - The Worhtless Homewtown of Scumbag Jennifer Wilbanks.

I called it out a long time ago. Not a damn thing would happen to this Biatch. I called out the city of Duluth, Ga. for a bunch of wimps. The gave her a tiny slap on the wrist. Look at the ridiculous punishment they gave her.

-2 yrs probation
-120 hours community service
- pay local Sheriff's office $2,550
-continue mental health treatment
-if completes treatment will waive the felony
-pay city of Duluth, Ga $13,250 for overtime during the search.

As you can see, the city of duluth has a court system manned by spineless wimps. Jennifer Wilbanks can do this punishment on her back with her hands tied behind her back, like she said those hispanics did to her in the van. Heck, shes already been prosecuted 3 times in your city for shoplifting. They should have given her an ankle alert bracelet, in case that dumbass boyfriend proposes to her again and she has to make another run for it, then get captured by some ethnic minorities. That dumass boyfriend of hers will pay the bills since she lost her job for being a whack-job. The sentence given to Jennifer Wilbanks verified what I said in my other articles, and proves the city of Duluth is filled with a bunch of pusses! I'll bet the Judge and the Prosecuting Attorneys are from France. Wussies! Congrats to Digger for always telling it like it is about this bitch and others @ Diggers Realm he knows whats up in America. It's a great site.
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Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Freelance carpenter Posted by Hello

Freelance Surgeon Posted by Hello

Danica Patrick - Female Racer. So What?

Whats wrong with this picture? Give up? It's Danica Patrick, a chick in a racing uniform!!! I get the point. That women can do anything a man can do, and thats true, but your taking a serious risk here. I know racing has been trying to spice it up a bit by adding minorities but this kinda jumped the gun. This aint no WNBA. Last I heard you can't kill someone with a basketball, but a car can. Just today a woman wearing sunglasses twice the size of her head almost took me out permanently, and that was in a parking lot. I mean race car drivers are supposed to be brave, but now even the fans up in the nosebleed sections are in danger! You dont believe me? Just wait until shes racing and someone calls her on her cellphone. Even those pilots in the flying overhead blimp better have good life insurance policies! I mean the bitch was clocked at 229.1 mph, and she was still trying to put on her makeup. During this race everyone kept applauding how she led the race for 19 laps! The other racers were too smart to pass her. All you have to do is follow her and wait till she makes a bonehead move. Just like you'd expect, "she thought" she felt a wobble in her front tires, so she decided the thing to do was take out the car and driver next to her. Turns out she finished 4th. That means she LOST!! Hows that for womens pride! You are woman- Yes! You a winner -NO! When Billie Jean King took on Bobby Riggs at least she won. That was a blow to mens pride. Not losing in a race. If Danica Patrick ever wins a tournament I'll enter the next race in a pinto, and I'll win. Shoot, I'll beat her with my skateboard. No, Ive got it. I'll go into the attic and grab my old plastic Powerwheel Green Machine and whip her ass. Oh, but shes so good looking! She was in Maxim! BFD!! Shes not so hot! Have you ever been to a car race. Thats where you find some of the ugliest women in the world. I'm telling you, you can't tell the women from the men. Let alone find one full set of teeth. You wanna know how ugly they are? Last time me and my guy friends went to the Pits, "WE" were voted the best looking women there. Danica Patrick made her point. Let her hock some Playtex, and her Messengil "Fresh Spring" scented, and then vamoose!! Hey, I just thought of something. A girl who knows her way with a stick shift might make a good lay. Posted by Hello