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Thursday, December 22, 2005

No Virginia. There is no Santa Claus.


We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of "The World according to Jidoshi."

Dear Editor-

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The World according to Jidoshi, then it's so." Please tell me the truth, Is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O'Hanlon.

Virginia, your little friends are right. It is better to be skeptical in this skeptical age. No Virginia, there is no Santa Claus. He exists about as much as love and generosity, and devotion exist. Life is dreary. You might as well believe in faeries. You might get your papa to hire men to watch all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus coming down, but they will catch nothing. Nobody has ever seen Santa Claus. So what does that prove? The only real things in the world are what men and children can see. Did you ever see faeries dancing on the lawn? of course not, thats proof that they are not there. Only money, power, and investments can allow you to see the glory and beauty beyond. Is Santa Real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing more unreal and unabiding. He does not live. Not now, nor a thousand years ago. He will however, continue to make unglad the hearts of children.

Merry Christmas. Posted by Picasa

Jidoshi's eye opening Christmas of 77'


What does Christmas mean to Jidoshi? On this momentous and Joyful holiday season, I find myself reflecting upon the memories of that magical Christmas time of my boyhood, the year, it was 1977, and little Jidoshi was only seven years young. Little Jidoshi found himself waiting in line to go to cafeteria to eat a Christmas lunch the school had prepared for the children, the day before we were to be let out for that glorious 2 week respite from the harsh elements of school. That magical time where for 2 weeks we frolic in the snow and pretend for 1 brief moment, time stood still, and the only thing that mattered was our happiness. Litle Jidoshi for one was entertaining the possibilities that Santa might bring me a green machine this christmas. Until the little red-headed snot-nose brat with pigtails who stood in front of me turned around and asked me that question all children would come to learn and hate. "Do you believe in Santa?" What a most absurd question, "OF COURSE I DO, WHY WOULDN'T I." Ive been exceptionally good, and if all goes well I'll be driving a Green Machine, while the rest of you losers are stuck with that childish mediocre second rate vehicle, the Big Wheel. "Well you shouldn't," she quickly replied. "Because it's really your parents, they just wait for you to go to sleep and then they put out the presents and say it's from Santa." ???????? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY!!!?? EXCUSE ME??? PLEASE TELL ME THIS BITCH IS OUT OF HER FUCKIN MIND! Needless to say Jidoshi was flabbergasted. So much for Christmas lunch. Jidoshi could not wait to get home and ask his dear old Mother for an answer to this puzzling piece of information. She always made things clear and seem allright. But when Jidoshi's mom was asked to explain this troubling piece of information, Jidoshi's Mothers expression became somber and she told the little seven-year old, "Well what do you think?" What do I think!!! I'm only fucking seven!! Why do you think I'm asking?! I don't fucking know shit! Thats why I'm asking!!!! Dammit!!! "Well if you believe Santa is real then he's real, if you don't, then he's not." ????!!!????!!!???!! What the hell did you just say?! If I believe he is then he's real, if I don't he's not! But in that one brief statement The world according to Jidoshi became clear. Jidoshi would forever fight against the Zionistic holidays that are enshrouded in lies. Whether you call it call it Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukkah, or whatever term you use to blind yourself. That same Easter Jidoshi baked his eggs in the hot sun for 2 weeks before painting them for the Easter Egg hunt. As my little cousin lay in his putrid pile of vile vomit, his blue face and tongue gasping for air as the noxious gaseous fumes permeated his lungs, after I had cracked my potent egg concoction over his head, I looked deep into his red tearing eyes and said, "If you believe in the Easter bunny then he is real, if you don't, then he is not." Yes, the Christmas of 77' will always be Jidoshi's favorite Christmas. When Jidoshi decided to walk away from the foolishness of childhood and became a man. It was then that Jidoshi wrote the four laws of nature. Number 1. Life is blight and misery. Number 2. Grow eyes in the back of your head. Number 3. Don't trust anybody. and Number 4. The Jewish hand of the Government is everywhere, usually in your back pocket. "Merry Christmas to all you poor miserable bastards."

All that is stupid about the Holidays.


This picture represents it all. The true meaning of Christmas. Two dufuses sitting on that fat asshole's lap. Thinking Santa's gonna bring them a bike, a blue gorilla, a talking chair, or some other stupid shit dumbass kids are always asking for. Just wait till they get the shaft like Jidoshi did way back in 77'. The kid on the left looks like Santa finished sticking his thumb up his butt.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

The winding down no-talent comedian Ellen is also a LIAR!


This no-good no talent lesbo now has decided to tell the whole world about how she feels soo bad, because she is from New Orleans. Wow. How terrible. You know what we are gonna do?, you no talent, ugly, unfunny, old, bad dancing dyke? We are gonna let you host the Emmys, you know, because your from New Orleans. Being from New Orleans you must feel terrible, huh? Will hosting the Emmys make you happy?? Yeah, it will, okay, we had a real talented artist, funny, dramatic, expert trained actor. Who was also a good dancer ready to host the Emmys, but because of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, we are gonna shitcan that actors ass and let you host instead. Seeing as how all you talk about these days is that you are from New Orleans. New Orleans was your hometown. We can just see you crying about the Hurricane in your big mansion there in Beverly Hills. Watching those poor homeless people fighting the floods mustve made that caviar roll taste terrible there at your private catered table there at Spagos. Say, wait a minute!! You wouldn't be that same bitch that was born in **Metairie, LA** would you?? You know, that no talent ugly dyke bitch we see on tv that was NOT born in New Orleans, but was born in METAIRIE, LOUISIANA. Metairie being a completely different city than New Orleans. You know, two different cities, you kinda figure Metairie is different from New Orleans because they got two fucking different names!! In two different fucking places!! Two totally different places on the muther fucking map!! I dunno, do you think it's possible that YOU ARE NOT FROM NEW ORLEANS!! You lying attention mongering whore! You are without a doubt the biggest, most worthless, spineless, conniving piece of shit that Jidoshi has not had the pleasure of talking about. I wish you could go doing your stupid dancing down Bourbon Street so the local cops would say your drunk and give you a royal New Orleans style ass beating. I wish it had been you on the news they kicked the shit out of instead of that black 64 year old man they showed the New Orleans style hospitality. Oh yeah, and you three pigs that like beating up old men when they are handcuffed, your next! Ellen, you earned the curse of Jidoshi! Pat Robertson brought up some damn good points the other day. Last time she hosted the Emmys we had 911 happen. This time we get the hurricanes. Im not superstious but talk about coincidence. Copy this link and read all about it. http://www.datelinehollywood.com/archives/2005/09/05/robertson-blames-hurricane-on-choice-of-ellen-deneres-to-host-emmys/

Thursday, October 13, 2005

The World acording toJidoshi awards America's greediest family.


The Duggar children and their father, Jim Bob Duggar, top center, gather as their mother Michelle holds the 16th addition to the family Tuesday, Oct. 11, 2005, at St. Mary's Hospital in Rogers, Ark. Can you say, "Are you fucking serious?!!"

I shit you not. These attention mongering whores have had 16 kids so far. Apparently they are gonna have some show about how they are making a 7,000 square foot house with like 9 bathrooms and dormitory style rooms for the kids. Of course, you know someone else is footing the bill. 16 kids sounds shocking till you realize its Arkansas. In China, this family would have gone on an all expense paid vacation and to everyone's chagrin, would never return. "Das Wunderkind!" Hey Jim Bob, Hitler called and wants his superhuman breeders back!! Did anybody check their birth records to make sure they are not related? Lets see, 16 X 16 = 256, 256 X16 = 4096, 4096 X 16 = so on and so on, you get the point - a shitload of inbred white people!!!! Then the female human rabbit says shes still willing to have more kids!!! Shes not done yet! Jim Bob, just his name says it all, is like, "Allright!" You think everyone loves her having so many kids? Ask the neighbors how much they like it, after having to throw 16 consecutive bridal showers every 9 months. Ask the locals how much they like having to buy gifts, arrange a party, bake cakes, hire a catering service, and all the other shit they have to do every 9 months while this bitch lays on her back and sucks it all in like a blue whale. Believe me, even her kids don't like it. Explain to litlle Johnny and Jill why they get one less present every year for their B-days and Christmas. Ask Grandma and Grandma how much they like shopping for a Birthday present and hearing ballons popping, and horns kazooing every fucking day of the year. Ask the local garbage man how he's liked picking up the diaper filled bins at the end of the block for the last 16 years. Ask Jim Bob's boss and fellow employees how much they appreciate picking up the slack everytime Jim Bob has to leave work or can't show up because one of his kids is sick, got a doctor's appointment, throwing a Birthday party, whatever, and he has to do it because as usual, his wife can't because shes too busy on her fat pregnant back, eating a jar of pig's feet and a bag of cheetos. But if anyone in the town of Rogers, Ark dares to say anything about the Duggar family, they will be excommunicated on the spot. "How dare you comment on the family of 16 kids??" "Are you a terrorist that hates America?" The whole town must live in fear of the Duggars, like in that Twilight Zone episode, where the kid has superpsychic powers and can do anything with a thought. He could erase you as if you never existed. Worst of all he could read your mind and hear your thoughts. The town of Rogers, Ark, including the mayor and sheriff, probably line up to kiss Michelle Duggar's ass everytime she has a kid. Jim Bob, is the only winner in this picture. With Michelle Duggar on her back all year long, Jim Bob is technically a free man! He's probably a professional sperm donor on the side. Any barren women want a blue-eyed, blonde haired kid? On behalf of "The World according to Jidoshi," we proudly present The Duggar Family of Rogers, Arkansas for being the media gluttons that they are, with no end in sight, **The Greediest People in America Award** (In the words of the people of Arkansas) Might ya' proudly carry that thar Award up thar where dat sun don't shine, good buddy! If'n yer can read this, then that means yer musta larned yer numbers an yer letters.

Jidoshi - Back with a Vengeance!!

Well fans, Jidoshi has been on a short hiatus to the Mary Ford clinic for a long awaited rest. But im back!! Thats right! And don't you little weasels think for one minute I haven't been keeping one of my eyes on you. I've kept a list on all you jackasses and now I'm free to rejoin the public and dish out some payba,,,,,, uh, i mean, assist you in a public interest sort of way. Yeah, thats it. I've missed you all because I care soo much. I just want to help my fellow man. By offering advice in my blog so i can reach as many souls in need as I can. The old Jidoshi was a bitter person, who needed to get in touch with his inner child, and address the needs he always wanted but never got. So Jidoshi faced his inner demons and realized he was a good person, who just needed to hear the words, "We love you Jidoshi." Now my world is brighter, see?! Hold on a sec,....... Okay, I'm Back!! I just wanted to make sure the eyes weren't watching, know what I mean? Wink, Wink! Now where was I. Oh yeah, I been watching you, you stupid little pieces of shit. Head or Gut?

Thursday, September 22, 2005

If Jidoshi won't watch it, then you sure as hell shouldn't, either!

I won't watch that new movie I saw on the commercial right now that stars that fucker Benjamin Bratt. He's that fucker that played a pig on LA Law, or CSI, or NYPD Blue. Im not sure cuz Jidoshi thinks all those Pig shows and movies are the same. You know, with all the, "We know you did it," and the "We're gonna get this punk," and, "We gotta protect the streets for our children," bullshit. I think he comes out in the one that has that old fat bald-headed cop that likes to booze it up and beat confessions outta people. Well, whatever, I know he's the one that they always talk about as being a great HISPANIC actor. He's a real HISPANIC role model. He's also the HISPANIC that dated that horse-toothed jackass Julia Roberts. Thats grounds for Jidoshi to lay a can a whupass all over his HISPANIC ass!! In the commercial he's running around like a soldier or something, and this guy asks him something. So he answer's the guy, "You got a NUNYA in your future." And the guys all like, "What the fuck is a NUNYA?" Then Benjamin Bratt gets on this high horse from hell, so full of pride he's almost gonna explode and says, "NUNYA damn business." I mean, I was in shock?? Thats it? NUNYA damn business? I mean, is that supposed to be cool, or?? or??? I dont know. But I know its stupider than hell. Hewins Jidoshi's Oscar for stupidest one-liner ever. On behalf of the world according to Jidsohi we are sending him one big stinking pile of human feces. Enjoy, you great HISPANIC actor. Oh, and bye the way, I dont remeber the name of that movie. That stupid ass preview made me flip the channel. Jidoshi also wont see "I Heart Huckabees." I think it stars Jude Law, or Dennis Hopper, maybe even Kevin Bacon, since hes soo good at brownosing his way into any 2 bit movie. I wont see it or even care what its about because of the title. I get it. You want to use the symbol of the heart in your movie. Like its cute to say I Heart Huckabees. Like Ill see it cuz you use the heart symbol in your title. Well it didnt work. I dont give a shit that you have a heart in your title and I dont give a rats behind what ever the fuck a Huckabee is either. Ill see your movie about as much as Ill buy an album titled the Artist formally known as Prince.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Once again, The World according to Jidoshi has influenced the World.


Dear reaters and staff of de Worl accordeen to Jeedoshee. We wan to offer our support in dees Worl crisees. We now take de trucks to Nuevo Orleens. To give de watter and de applesauce to de homeless peoples who leeving in de streets. We hopes you no more are mad at Mexico! We are jor friends. We are jor amigos.
Sinseerly,
De Mexicanos in de Consulate embassy place inside de America contry.

In direct response to the most recent criticism from the World's greatest online blog, Mexico has decided to offer assistance to the U.S. As far as the writers from the World according to Jidoshi are concerned, Mexico is now removed from the chopping block. But as for you France, well, its like this, France, you can still kiss our asses!!
Thank You to Mexico.

The following is an excerpt from NDTV.com

Mexico has offered an aid package to the United States that includes military equipment and medicine to help victims of Hurricane Katrina. The Mexican Navy has also expressed its willingness to send two ships, 15 amphibious vehicles and two helicopters to help rescue victims. With Friday's offer, Mexico joined almost sixty other nations who have offered assistance to the US in the wake of Katrina. The Mexican government believes that thousands of Mexicans are among those affected.

Monday, September 05, 2005

As usual, France and Mexico are nowhere to be found.


Well, hey France. How ya' doin? Yeah, well he had this level 5 Hurricane hit Louisiana recently. It killed a bunch of people who had french blood in them. It did a real number on New Orleans too. It really tore up the housing and then it followed up with one hell of a flood. A real tragedy. Say, isn't New Orleans french too?? Wow, you assholes haven't even asked to see how we're doing. I always knew you french people were scum, but you take Assholism to a whole new level. Remember when we saved your asses in the two world wars?? It would have been nice to see you at least lift your head away from your croissant to at least look our way. Its bad enough that germany and Russia dont do shit. Russia doesn't got anything to offer because all it's money is hidden in Vladimir Putin's secret KGB torture chambers, and Germany, well, we beat their asses in both world wars, so what do you expect? But you France, you owe us bigtime. The good ol' USA is the only reason you worthless frog bastards aren't eating sauerkraut and listening to that damn Oompah Oompah music. Not that your french shit crap music is any better. The world's best friend. When Sri Lanka got hit, who sent millions?? We sent food, aid, money, doctors, you name it. You France, didn't do shit,like now. Sitting on your asses drinking lattes and smoking those nasty smelly cigarretes you guys make. But thats okay. You know why France? Cuz who needs your fucking help anyways? We'll survive this hurricane on our own. We don't need a damn thing from you frog-eatin chickenshits. So drink your wine, eat your cheese, and go fuck yourselves. Now on to you Mexico. Where have you been hiding? Your not sitting this one out! You also owe us bigtime. What, you don't remember your buddy Uncle Sam? Huh? You only seem to remeber us when it's handout time,huh?! Oh hey Mr. Moneybags!! Nice to see you again, ol pal of mine. Yeah we'll take your Nafta, thank you. Say, your gonna loan us millions to repair roads and develop our country, thanks buddy, come on down!! Whats that, the world trade center blew up? I'm a little busy right now, sorry. Say what? A flood, thousands are homeless, uuuhh,.. , can you leave me a message and we'll get back to you. You can leave your donations outside the door. Same old story, different day. We'll keep taking care of your illegals you send us, give them jobs, pay their social security checks, insure them, give them medicaid, etc. and we'll handle this Hurricane/flood situation all on our own. Same shit, different day. Next time youneed a handout, we'll be there. Next time aworld crisis happens, we'll be there. Next time the frogs get their mickey-mouse hating asses whipped, we'll be there. So thanks to all our neighbors. THANKS FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, which is what you guys do best.
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